Face it, losing weight is a bitch; you have to get lap band and plastic surgery, stop eating all the shitty food you've been programmed to consume, ignore what everyone else is eating because they don't have your "metabolism," then finally throw up everything you ate in the bathroom while tossing out all the packaging before your partner gets home. Fail. Most people don't realize there's a far easier way to lose weight that doesn't involve all the rigamarole and guff traditional weight loss measures dictate, like a reduction in food intake or awareness of what is being consumed--the Third World; nope, not the First World, nor the Second, but the Third. Go to a Third World country and you're guaranteed to lose at least 5-7 pounds a week. After that first few weeks you'll lose weight so dramatically even Hollywood starlets will be after you to poison your tea. The longer you wait, the more money is going to be absconded with from Western European nations and dropped in the East to avoid taxes and health care benefits, so those countries are going to gain more and more of a middle class; you're already screwed for China and India, but there are still vibrant weight loss communities in Somalia, Latin America, and Western Asia. Be sure to bring a blanket with smallpox and a rifle, you're going to need them. Don't worry though, because in a few years you'll have a warm homecoming and be able to achieve the same weight loss in your own Western country, just like in Greece today.
Remember, every week on Friday a new t-shirt design is announced, and every Saturday that design is released. Come back to view the blog entry for the design on Friday, or Saturday to buy the t-shirt!


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