Long Beach strikes again with this news story worthy of a t-shirt mention. "Man's Murder May be Linked to Med Pot Distribution." Click on the link below for the full story.
There is so much trouble in the world. There's a credit crunch on, paper money has finally ceased to possess any value at all, and trademarks are being completely ignored in the face of the end of the world as we know it. Even international bankers aren't bothering to buy or sell countries or people anymore. It's important in this trying time to prove to people you are a happy well-adjusted person. It's time to turn that smile upside down, and show people how happy you really are! Whether visiting relatives, or going to church or shopping, people will approach you with a smile if you give them one, even if it is in the ass. This new t-shirt design is created with them in mind. Show everyone how happy you really are--show those motherfuckers but good.
I never really said how I felt about you, all the times we shared getting to know one another, and that special connection only two people can make that resolves itself in a marriage that lasts a lifetime. I never could afford diamonds, but perhaps this shirt can convey after 20 years with you how I truly and deeply feel about you. All the times you have been there for me, and all the times I feel like I've failed you, all I want is to give you the very best.You are the wind beneath my wings. Now, does one nail a coffin shut, or just dump dirt on top of it? Damn....
You've tried the classes, the workshops, the religions, the spiritual centers, the vicious beatings; you're ready for something new you haven't tried. You never thought it would be a good idea to be an infidel, but everyone you met in all your searches seemed either a bit of an asshole, patronizing, or totally deluded. It's time to shuck the old skin of people wandering around with books chained to their necks, flogging themselves in non-erotic ways and embrace a new you. It's time for a brand of reality you haven't fully embraced yet--Fake Religion Brand Reality. Only then can you be certain there is another side. Listen to the wisdom of the false prophets, and consume.
Everyone loves Starbucks--and DeviantART. NOW is your chance to enter their Baby In A Blender Remix Contest by submitting one of your own designs! As you can see, we've taken the time and the liberty of making something truly special for this contest. Be sure your submission makes a statement truly worthy of Starbucks and you can win a bunch of crap you'll throw out in the next month or so, like an iPad2 or $1,250 American dollars. Whether you throw them in the gutter or burn them in effigy, it'll be one less thing cluttering your life.
Find out about the contest here, but make sure to sign up for a DeviantART account to increase their market share and as a secondary consideration to participate. The best designs will have their accounts suspended and infringement notices sent to their home address, or e-mail box, whichever has not been falsified.
And YES, if you notice below the picture, this design is FREE for you to download and print yourself on t-shirts, Starbucks store windows, or airbrush on people's cars. If you try and resell it you're an idiot. It only has cultural value, like Buddhism, or Capitalism--not monetary value. Remember, fair trade is for people who don't have the balls to crack the whip.
Are you ready for the gay bomb? Who isn't?! Well, the Middle East for one. A gay bomb was dropped there several years ago, but had no marked effect on the population. You can read about it, or you can watch the video below. Either way, you're going down--down on whatever it is people go down on when they're knee deep in same-sex junk. Studies have shown outcasts who prefer this kind of behavior are amoral and lascivious; but, with the gay bomb, you can remove yourself from all sexual responsibility and actually have some fun. Let the party begin!
News and updates to The Wrong Context, including new shirts not yet released!