With The Man getting you down and taking control of your life via credit cards and credit debt, the National "Security" Administration, Social "Security" Numbers branding you with a bar code, and banks trying to rip you off by taking loans from the government with only 10% collateral, we need to validate the unsung heroes of our generation. (Sure, they've infected your computer with viruses, but only because you were using Microsoft Office you dumbfuck. Hackers quell the furor of mediocre people trying to control your life--and don't you forget it).
We'd all agree those small setbacks are nothing compared to the goods and services certified hackers bestow on us. When banks overcharge us, they make ATM's free cash machines, when credit card companies fuck up our credit ratings with outstanding charges, they put the charges on some douchebag who hasn't paid child support in 15 years, when the NSA tries to stop us at a checkpoint in an airport just because we've had 4 or 5 drinks, they set off the fire alarms and sprinklers in the building, when Best Buy won't take that crappy computer you bought from them hackers are there deleting your fingerprints from the national fingerprint database after you stupidly touched the window you tossed the Molotov cocktail through. And when our political representatives fail us, they change the prescriptions of children and spouses of those politicians, just to keep them on their toes.
So the next time some fucking president or other sundry D-bag is in town, thank hackers for shutting the entire city center down because you couldn't get a cup of coffee at a Starbucks when you wanted to. Hail to the Chiefs!
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