Following recent attacks by citizens brandishing pistol-grip water nozzles aimed at officers of the LBPD, Walmart in Long Beach has decided to roll out it's own version of the deadly weapon, The Zerby; a pistol-grip water nozzle that looks characteristically like, and yet actually is, well, a gun. In an agreement struck between the LBPD and Walmart, several thousand of these will be purchased for officers training at the Long Beach Police Range.
Citizens enthusiastically agreed with the decision, claiming to feel "more comfortable" and "at ease" around these family-friendly weapons when out tending to their their lawns or walking their pets. When asked about the weapon change-over, long-time resident Celia Williams Lucas, 86 years old, added, "I think it makes these young whippersnappers look mighty more handsome!"
The Long Beach City Council, with public safety and welfare in mind, plans to ban watering hoses and other lawn care related implements altogether in the Long Beach area following this pending acquisition.
Citizens enthusiastically agreed with the decision, claiming to feel "more comfortable" and "at ease" around these family-friendly weapons when out tending to their their lawns or walking their pets. When asked about the weapon change-over, long-time resident Celia Williams Lucas, 86 years old, added, "I think it makes these young whippersnappers look mighty more handsome!"
The Long Beach City Council, with public safety and welfare in mind, plans to ban watering hoses and other lawn care related implements altogether in the Long Beach area following this pending acquisition.
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