Find the most idiotic guy in town and give him a gun; that's sure to get a laugh--until someone gets hurt. Oh wait, that's still a laugh. Give him a tank, some Megadeath to listen to while he's out on training exercises and that's sure to get the attention of his superiors. It's important to make a statement when joining the military, to think really big; they're looking for good men and women who know how not to compromise their own integrity, no matter the whiny order or wimpy command. Part of being in the military is using your own ideas and know-how to get things done! One way is commandeer a tank and ride it drunk through the streets of San Diego, another is to take your CO's firearm from their hip and start waving it around wildly while on the pharmaceutical-grade Crystal Meth they gave you your first day in boot camp. A few shots here and there, preferably not at friends but all those fuckers who held a blanket over you and wailed on you in your cot after-hours with knapsacks full of rocks, and it's mission accomplished! Now go kill some foreigners motherfucker; and yup, The French count. Operation Dumbfuck complete!
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