Good people believe in family values. They are the driving force behind culture, religion, and commerce. If you don't have a family, you don't have shit. And most people hate theirs. Experts agree this is why alcohol and pharmaceuticals were invented. Don't worry, if people aren't interested in having fun family counselors are there at the ready, helping inspired people to choose memorable family vacations--maybe even signing on to watch over a hotel during the winter months. If they bring their son along, he's sure to meet some interesting people, and maybe even twin girls who love to play! This'll give dear old dad some time to write, and mom some time to practice her baseball swing. But, people forget the most important part of family--communication, letting people know when you're gone, and making sure to say, "Honey, I'm home!" when you arrive. It's only polite to do so.
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